Live in Ukraine

Long ago, during my first travel to Europe I decided that I will move to Europe forever. 

Many years passed after that and my family and I we visited up to 20 countires all together by car.

 But when war came to my country I understood that I want to stay here in Ukraine traveling and looking for new opportunities for Ukraine and Ukrainians , writing my blog and getting new partners from abroad.  

It happened that on the 24-th of February lot of Ukrainians left Ukraine. Some of them returned, others will never come back. I stay here, for how long I don`t know. But Almighty says me to do that, I feel it.

To tell that it was stressfully, is to tell nothing.  The decision to move from the house where we lived was taken on the first day, but we strated on the second day of the war. Thanks God, we had time for that, because occupiers were pushed from the  city, where we had lived. The decision to move from the country was not taken, we stayed in Zakarpatiia  region in Ukraine for 2,5 months. 

Thanks God I had work and salary, but I didn`t have inspire to photograph. I photographed my family, friends and it helped me to get me out of slightly coming depression.  I was thinking much about photography and war, war and photography all together. I thought about me, war and photography, how can I compound all that together or ether I want to combine these things together? 

One day I was asked to photograph military man and his family. I expressed my thoughts and showed only a small number of photos here in the post "War times photography". There were a lot of thoughts and mixed emotions during that time. It was even difficult to focus. I did small steps and efforts in order to a thing and full myself out of  passive mood.

I wrote the posts and understood that they all were full of emotions. Now I obviously see, that they are extremely emotional, but I cannot omit them publishing, because it is a part of my life and perhaps, my experience will help somebody one time. There were the thoughts about:

• How not to make crazy in war times.

• How I heal myself.

• 10 ways how to use photography as therapy.

Where came the period that I felt that I cannot even think and then...

I put myself on the energy-saving mode. What it ment for me? I did everything slowly without a rush, talked slowly, made comfort comunication with my children. It helped me to move further.

10.11.2023

Previous end of the 2022 year and the beginning of the 2023 year were very difficult to me psychologically. I had to take a lot of vital decisions. There were a lot of difficulties in different spheres. My decisions referred family, children, my future professional plans, etc. Overall, how to live further or either to live at all. 

At the moment I felt that I don`t have support from my family. There were a lot of responsibility , but the absence of support. I felt that I don`t understand a thing. That was a moment that I understood that should look for a help, I need professional psychological assistance. 

I thought about psychological courses in order to widen my horizons and I felt need to share my personal problems with a person, who will listen and will not make me down, but let me go out of the trouble.

I crossed the online cources and felt that it was the right thing I needed. I didn`t have all money for study, but I counted for my every month salary and I payed a half of the sum in the beginning and another half of the sum in the middle.

Those course helped me much. I ... Alarm....

02.01.2024

The stories you read here are mine and only mine and nobody else. Sometimes I want to forget this night and never think about it, but when we don`t talk about real life that we live in, people in different countries think that everything is ok. 

Yes it seems to be ok when I  go to sleep and ask God to give us silent night without missile attacks during the night or in the early morning as it happens. Russia bombs Ukraine as usually. They change tactics, but bomb!

This morning was not an  exception. 4 hours long we herad missiles flying and blasting. I hugged my little son and prayed about him to sleep and not to hear al that nightmare.

That night as many other nights the corridor was our beloved place.